Thursday, March 27, 2008

Keeping Positive


Four weeks ago I stepped on a scale for the first time in probably 14 years and got…um…a number. The following week, that number was three less. Then I went on steroids and the three came back. Last week I lost nothing. Then this morning I weighed myself again and I was two less. Now what color was the conductor’s hat? ha ha Sorry, I couldn’t resist an old arithmetic joke.

So I am still up by one pound but at least I lost the two. My goal is to lose five pounds at a time and celebrate that milestone each time. I still haven’t hit my first documented five pounds, but I will!

The Hard Part

The hardest part for me is the Obsession. I am obsessed with not eating.

I am not dieting. I know I have to change my entire lifestyle. But I do plan what I am going to eat. And right now if I eat something I didn’t plan on, I am sick about it.

I don’t see this as particularly healthy behavior. And it makes me very, very cranky.

I am not hungry, I am not feeling deprived, I just worry all the time that I will seriously overeat and never lose the weight I have to lose. What I want to do is not think about food all the time and how I am going to avoid it.

If I do eat something unplanned, I want to enjoy it. That is really my goal, to not beat myself up over "lapses" and to get right back on track. Because, as someone so helpfully commented here, making more good choices than bad is what it is all about. And that is what has to be forever.

Is anyone else Obsessed? How do you cope with that constant fear and vigilance? Does it pass?


Andrew is getting fit said...

It's tricky not to become obsessed at times. I think it is just a matter of time. It took me a while to learn to enjoy myself when I had stuff that wasn't healthy. I think learning moderation is what helped me overcome obsession.

Anonymous said...

Its a big deal to change your eating habits. Eating is something you have to do and its meant to be enjoyed. Choosing the right foods is the hard part. What worked (and still works) for me is making small changes over long periods of time and knowing what it is you're putting in your body. For example, I love peanut butter and "they" say its good for you. But, look at the ingredients... its full of sugar!. I switched to Wegman's organic and the only ingredients are peanuts and salt (they make the salt-free variety). Instead of jelly which is high fructose corn syrup, aka sugar and chemicals, I slice strawberries, grapes, or blueberries. Its a small change, but has a huge impact on your diet. So start small by incorporating good things over time and before you know it, your diet will be full of healthy meals you wont have to stress over.
Don't suffer, eating is meant to be enjoyable!
See you at the gym, Laura

Jessica said...

That's is a strange obssesion, not eating :) Nowadays, I'm trying to be more relaxed when it comes to food. If I want to eat something I'm not supposed to eat, I'm allowing myself to eat it, as long as I eat it during the day or before noon. I'm trying to be more intuitively.

Stephanie said...

I struggled with weight issues for the longest time. I actually learned that by not eating you are defeating your goals to lose weight. If you don't eat your body thinks it's starving and wants to store fat so it has reserves for later on. Once I learned this it made a huge difference. If you happen to be obese or have a lot of fat stores then it is helpful just to watch your caloric intake but make sure you are still eating. I hope this helps you and good luck!

LisaN said...

You need to let the mistakes go and just move on. What you're feeling is perfectly normal, and it takes time to get over thinking something is "wrong."

I totally agree with Andrew. No food is wrong as long as you eat in moderation.

fitncrafty said...

Hang in there it gets better. I lost 100lbs a few years ago. I still creep up and down a little, but I focus on being content in my life and with my family. The more you focus on living and not eating the easier it will get. Being active really helps. Feeling good is not about how much you weigh, but who you are! Best of luck to you!