Mixed Blessings

In the past, when I have been on IV steroids, the Solumedrol came in this self contained, pre-mixed pump.

I had my port put in and then each day I just flushed it, hooked up my little ball and when it was finished, flushed it again.

Easy peasy.

On Wednesday, when Dr. H. ordered the IV for me, his secretary asked if I would be interested in trying this new company. They were trying to build business in our area and they were very nice. So I said sure.

Big mistake.

The next morning the new place called to say everything was set up and the pharmacist would call me in a little while to go over the order and arrange the nurse’s visit to start my IV.

The pharmacist calls and asks me the usual, allergies, other meds, etc., and then says my medicine and supplies will be delivered by 3 pm with everything I needed to mix the Solumedrol.

Mix?

So I say to her “Mix? I usually get a pre-mixed ball pump.” “Well we don’t use that, you will mix the medicine and hang it.”

Hang it?

I could put the ball in my pocket and walk around with it, not be tethered to an IV pole. But that is exactly what I ended up being.

The nurse came that evening. She ended up sticking me FOUR times before we had a patent port. Each of the others infiltrated. This had never happened before. She was so, so nice, but it was frustrating to be stuck so many times.

Then she showed me how to mix and hang the medicine. It was a million ridiculous steps. Especially for someone with weak, numb hands!

1) Pop the Solumedrol bottle to mix/reconstitute it.
2) Let it sit for the powder to dissolve.
3) After it is dissolved, draw it up into a syringe and inject it into the bag of Saline.
4) Attach the tubing and prime it by allowing the medicine to go all the way to the end, so I don’t end up with 10 cc’s of air preceding my infusion.

5) Clamp everything until I am ready to attach it.
6) Flush my port with Saline.
7) Attach the IV tubing.
8) Set the tubing control to 125.
9) Open the clamps
10) Sit in one place next to the pole for an hour ( because if I move the pole around, the infusion stops running).
11) When it is over, clamp everything again.
12) Detach the tubing.
13) Flush my port with Saline, then Heparin.
14) Clamp my port.
15) The end.

What year is this?!?!

Then, when I went to administer my second infusion, I find my port was leaking. I called the nurse and she said try to tighten the connection. The connection that was under a ton of tape and a piece of Tegaderm (a small sheet of protective plastic). Try to tighten it with one hand.

Guess what? Oh, you are so smart!! It didn’t work. The IV wouldn’t infuse and I had to pull the port. Which meant I was going to need another one inserted.

Oy vey.

The same very, very nice nurse came back. We picked a lovely, plump vein in my right hand. In went the needle. In didn’t go the little tube that would deliver the medicine. She kept trying, very gently, but I knew just by looking at it, it wasn’t going to work and I was going to have to get stuck AGAIN. After about five minutes she apologized and gave up.

Stick number SIX took.

Because this has turned into such a freaking ordeal, I developed a nurturing routine for myself. I might as well enjoy myself instead of getting totally pissed off.

So my set up is as follows:

My favorite scented candle.

My nightstand with the phone, books, pictures of

my beloved children and my beloved grandmother,

along with flowers from someone I love very much.

And a lovely high calorie drink. Because I deserve it.

There’s a lot of love on my nightstand.

My bed where I will relax and put my feet up
with tons of pillows, my knitting, my laptop
and, of course, Bella.





On the plus side, within one day my legs felt as strong as if I were normal. My back pain has disappeared. My other symptoms, which I guarantee you would rather not hear about, are diminishing.

On the down side, the first night I couldn’t get to sleep until 2 am. And then I woke up at 2:45 am. And could NOT get back to sleep. Forty five minutes of sleep in 48 hours. Woo hoo.

This is yet another MS adventure. What can I say?

Direction?

The original idea of this blog was to create a site of mutual support and encouragement in being good to ourselves, especially with weight loss. My accident has morphed it into something a little different and I am feeling somewhat uncomfortable about that.

I am trying to tell myself that it still is addressing issues that others can relate to. I am not completely sure though.

I was not particularly good to myself after I got hurt. (Although I did eat an awful lot of ice cream. It was quite delicious. :) ) My typical denial in the face of incontrovertible facts slowed my acceptance of the truth: that I was terribly injured. And would be in recovery for a very, very long time. Possibly up to a year. Now that this is finally reality to me, I am doing my best to nurture my body and take my recuperation seriously.

I am eating well, I am scrupulous about doing my home exercises and attending my three times a week Physical Therapy sessions, even though they are so grueling I want to weep. Ok, I do weep. Physical therapy is really, really hard. Although Mike, my physical therapist, couldn’t be nicer or more encouraging. I have gone back to the gym and have gingerly done some pool walking and stretching, although I can’t actually swim for a while. I am resting when my body says I need to rest. I am listening to it for a change instead of telling it to shut up, it doesn’t know what it’s talking about.

When my MS symptoms flare up, I still get angry and feel sorry for myself that I am not the active person I used to be, Super Woman, capable of doing it all. But I also try to acknowledge, rather than ignore, yes, my legs are like jelly today, or my feet feel as though they are filled with lead, or I am so dizzy I have to hold onto things to get around the house, the Furniture Crawl.

Bottom line, I am not sure where this blog is going. I don’t want it to be all about me (that is a TOTAL LIE!! I would love it to be all about me. Isn’t everything?!? :) ) I want to post things we can all relate to in ways of being good to ourselves, even if it is just a moment to stop and think about things that are important to you. Or seem interesting. Or to simply have a giggle. Because if nothing else, everyone needs to laugh now and then. And I am a sucker for a good audience.

So for right now, I will probably write about random things, but I will also remember what I started out to do. The title “Nourish” really can be expanded. Because that actually is what life should be about. Nourishing precious moments, nourishing our precious selves and nourishing our precious others.

I would love some feedback as to what you all think.