Out of Control

So, I knew I was out of control when I found myself making Kraft Macaroni and Cheese one night for dinner. I have not had Kraft Macaroni and Cheese for a meal since I was about five years old. I do believe that is also the last time I thought it tasted good. I was at someone else’s house at the time. I was thrilled to be eating something that was both advertised on TV and as orange as a neon sign.

I don’t remember who it was that made it for me, but I do remember my mother was appalled when she found out. My mother is an excellent cook and, additionally, loves to prepare and truly appreciates good food. Macaroni and cheese out of a box was an anathema to her. She refused to buy it and I never tasted it again until college. At which time I nearly choked on the grossness of it.

Even my children didn’t like Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.

But one recent day in the supermarket it almost literally called out my name. I tossed it in my cart with all the other food that was really, really bad for me. And I went home and made it.

Nothing could be easier than preparing this…um…food product. First you boil the cute little noodles. Then it calls for four tablespoons of margarine. HA! Pussies! I used butter. FIVE tablespoons. You mix in the packet o’ orange chemicals. They call it “Cheese Sauce”, but I am pretty certain they are not fooling anyone. Finally, in goes a splash of milk, I think primarily to give you the illusion that you are about to consume something wholesome.

At that point I didn’t so much eat it as let it slither down my throat. It was filling, I will give you that. And you know what is awesome on top of it? No, not ice cream silly! (Note to self: consider ice cream over mac and cheese.) Ketchup!!! My favorite condiment that I slather over anything I can because I wasn’t allowed to when I was young. Now that’s maturity!

One serving of this culinary delight comes in at a horrifying 410 calories. Not counting the ketchup. And the extra calories from butter instead of margarine. And the extra butter. And the second serving.

*SIGH*

This past year was not a total wash however. I did lose two pounds. Two pounds in one year.

At this rate, I am going to be one smokin’ ninety year old!!