Monday, March 17, 2008

Getting Better

I am so grateful for all the kind words of comfort and encouragement that people have posted here. Boy, it has really been a tough week!

I am feeling better every day, but not back to what passes as normal for me yet. I had thought of going to the gym today, but after doing housework this morning for an hour I felt as though I had been beaten with a club. So I gave it a pass.

The steroids are doing their job quite nicely and I am totally wired, sleepless for three nights and already put on three pounds. I am very ambitious but don’t have the strength to follow through on anything. So I am spending most of my time trying to do small projects – sorting through books, organizing my den and papers, throwing out ruthlessly. Ruthlessly for me is about 25% of what it would be for anyone else. :) I actually have gotten a lot accomplished.

Keeping busy helps with missing Corrie.

My brother and sister-in-law sent me a gentle, poignant essay about losing a pet. It ends with this wonderful advice.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

* When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
* Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
* Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
* Take naps.
* Stretch before rising.
* Run, romp, and play daily.
* Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
* Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
* On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
* On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
* When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
* Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
* Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.
* When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

* Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not.
* If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

And my brother added this lovely comment, “She just moved from one dog heaven to another.” How sweet is that?!?

Thanks Ed and Mary! Thanks everyone!


Cammy said...

Grief is an exhausting process, and there's no right or wrong way to get through it. We just do the best we can. I hope your days (and nights) get easier soon.

Beautiful essay and comments from loved ones.

Jessica said...

That was beautiful. It's OK to take it easy sometimes, you know :)

janet said...

I haven't commented because i just didn't have the words. Lame huh? I lost my beloved dog Carl nearly 2 years ago, and it feels like yesterday. I'm so sorry for the loss of your dog. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with that pain, at the same time that life dumps roids and all the other junk on you. I know how hard life on roids can be. You've been in my thoughts alot lately, i'm sorry that i've waited so long to tell you how sorry I am that a member of your family is gone. What a wonderful thing that your brother said, but o so true

Marie said...

Thanks Cammy and Jessica!

Janet honey, that's not lame at all. I would call it human. I'm sorry about Carl, too. Thank you so much for thinking of me. That means a lot.

Oh, yeah, I am just a DELIGHT on the steroids!! Such fun. :(

Anonymous said...

Every minute of every day has something the others didn't and sometimes its necessary to clear away the old piles which prevent you from seeing just that. Its perfectly fitting at the time of your loss to organize and discard portions of your life. (I encourage it!) Its an important time of reflection, closure, and immanence with the now. Redd and I give our condolences...

Marie said...

Maybe that is what I was doing unconsciously? Almost a reverse kind of nesting? That is really interesting to think about.

Thanks so much for your kind thoughts and words.

Tracy said...

Hi Marie -- thanks for visiting my blog! I do know who you are (I think... you all went to London with my mom and sister last year, right? Or am I completely confused...? Very possible!) Anyway, I'm enjoying yours as well -- I'm sorry about your dog. I know how hard that can be... we lost a dog our family adored when my brother was little... it was devastating :-( But you'll get through it...

I'm bookmarking your page so I can catch up! I'll probably see you at Trinity over the summer -- or at the spaghetti dinner -- last year was so much fun!!