Sunday, February 17, 2008

There's No Justice In This World

In addition to being old and fat, I have MS. Most of my brain is in complete denial about this. Because it is ridiculous to think of myself, a normal, ordinary person with here-to-fore peasant-like good health, as having a serious chronic disease.

Every time I go to the neurologist, I futilely ask if perhaps there has been some mistake. But he doesn’t mince words: “Oh, you definitely have MS” he says cheerfully in his cute English accent.

There is nothing good about having MS. Absolutely nothing. Some people say, “I have MS, but MS doesn’t have me”. This is rationalization that borders on the delusional. The MS tentacles insinuate themselves into every aspect of your life: mobility, thinking, elimination, stamina, sexuality, everything. When you have MS, your life of doing things without a thought is over.

Pain is part of the MS package. Pain from damaged nerves that does not respond to conventional analgesics. I have been crippled with neck, back, hip and leg pain for weeks. Nothing was helping. My neurologist just prescribed Neurontin, which is to treat neurogenic pain. I finally began to get some relief.

But wait, there’s more!! Because what do I find in the drug information about Neurontin? It causes WEIGHT GAIN. That is what every info sheet says: weight gain. Weight gain, weight gain, WEIGHT GAIN AND WE DO MEAN YOU MARIE YOU BIG FAT PIG!!!!!!

And according to those who know, we’re not just talking a few pounds. We’re talking up to 30 pounds!

God help me, I would rather be in pain than continue to be fat. How sick is that? But I will give the med a try and see what happens.


Anonymous said...

I didn't gain any weight on neurontin until I got to more than 1800 mg/day and have not gained on Lyrica up to 450 mg/day which is equivalent to at least 1800 mg/day neurontin.

Pain sucks and I think it makes me eat more. ;)
I KNOW it makes me exercise less.
Mary B

Marie said...

Thanks Mary! That makes me feel better. I am SOOOOO happy to see you here!! Thanks for chiming in!

I am only on 300 mg for now. It helped a little for a few days, but today is very bad. I am apprehensive about increasing the dose.

Pain totally sucks. It doesn't make me eat more, but it does cause me to move less. And it causes me to be miserable and snappish. I hate being that way.