Thursday, February 14, 2008


I am the 50-something mother of four. I used to be a size 10, even after kids. Then my husband died and I went to work full time at a desk job. I gained 80 pounds in a year. And 14 years later I’m still dragging that deadly anchor around with me.

I’m miserable. I cringe when I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror. I can’t bear to have my picture taken. I look like a gnome. I look like a whale. I look like…you get the picture. Not a happy camper.

Now I have two weddings coming up. Both my sons are getting married in the fall. So I feel like this is finally do or die. I have to lose weight or spend each entire wedding day hiding from the photographer.

I joined a gym, but only went half-heartedly until a few weeks ago. The kids gave me 10 sessions with a personal trainer for my birthday. When my son first asked me if I would like that my impulse was to blurt out “Shit NO!!! I want something good!” But I realized this would be good for me, so I graciously thanked them.

Now I go to the gym at least three times a week. I do the treadmill for 30 minutes and the pool for 40. I am eating carefully, no junk, a lot of salad and fruit, I measure everything to check my portions.

But I’m still not losing!!!! Aaaaaggghhh!!!!! The weddings are in just a few months. What am I doing wrong?!?!?!


gray said...

It is so hard to lose weight. Throw in the meds that all carry warnings about weight gain and it is even harder. I stood on the scale and thoought if I lean to the left, maybe it will change the numbers.
And, there is something sadistic about drinking all that water, when half the time, your brain doesn't send you a signal it's time to pee! When the warmer weather comes, I am walking, cane and all, and Mr Bear better watch out cause if he comes out of hibernation, I am going to be mad if he gets in the way of my fat ass.
We need to cheer each other on. Who wants to always wera black to weddings. I hope you get skinny enough to wear red, or orange or hot pink! a color that everyone doesn't think of as so "slimming" because you have to.
My first tip for our group, eat off a smaller plate and drink a hot beverage with your meal not a cold one. I just read that it helps with digestion and the fats in food pass through your intestines better. Cold water with stomach acid makes them thick and move slower.

rani said...

I agree, it's so hard to lose weight. And also to keep it down once you've lost it.

I'm going to try the tip that Gray has suggested and drink hot water with my meals. I hope it works!

Since I've put on weight these past few years, I tend to avoid getting on a scale. I've decided to weigh myself at least once a week now for motivation.

Journey said...

Good idea! I do always feel fuller when I drink a cup of tea with a meal. For lunch I usually have 2 tablespoons of almond butter on a piece of whole wheat toast and a cup of tea and that carries me throught the afternoon.

debra said...

I am so with you all on the quest to change my lifestyle to a healthy one, altho I always watched portion control, and calories and salt and carbs! I have found my sweet tooth has returned.

That is my downfall.

Start to make the fat free/sugar free Jellow againg!

Judytiger said...

Oh that horrible sweet tooth! That is my downfall - BIG time!!

I don't like to drink water much because of the local water supply's taste. Coffee or hot tea will be good and let's see how much I can drink - better than sweets!

Walking at least once a daily will build up my endurance and I should see some improvement in my breathing.

Let's see who can lose the first pound of blubber and keep it off!!

Journey said...

We have to figure out a way to celebrate each other's blubber losses.

Because there WILL be losses!! :)