Thursday, June 12, 2008

Things That Happened While I Was Broken

While life screeched to a halt for me, the rest of the world did go on. Hard to believe, but true.

So here is one thing that happened:

I had a Letter to the Editor of The New York Times Magazine published.

AAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Not that I’m excited or anything.

There was an article in the Magazine in March that particularly struck a chord with me, so I dashed off a letter in my usual hilarious style. And I got an e-mail BACK!!!!!!

AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

It said:

“Thanks for writing. We hope to include you in the magazine letters column of April 6. Letters may be edited for length and clarity.”

Wow. My very own e-mail from the New York Times that isn’t asking me to subscribe. I decide to control myself and not send it back corrected. They didn’t capitalize “magazine”. I ignored the “letters may be edited for length and clarity” part because obviously my letter, which was both erudite and witty, was perfect as is.

You know what? I should just rename this blog “Wrong, wrong, wrong”, because that’s what I always am.

It was edited until it was crap. A crap letter. I had a crap letter published in the New York Times Magazine. But I am getting ahead of myself.

I received the e-mail on March 27. The letter wasn’t going to appear until April 6. So, as I crowed to everyone I knew, I said over and over and over “I don’t know WHAT I’ll do to keep myself busy until April 6.” Ha ha ha Well, we know now, what I did to keep myself busy was fling myself to the cement and create a general mess out of myself.

I wasn’t too disappointed when I saw they edited it. Of course they did cut out the funniest parts. And the libelous parts. And the sentence where I use the word “hubris”. That was the best part of the letter! How often do you get to use “hubris”?! Honestly.

At any rate, here is the link (mine is the second one down), which I am sure they will nurture in perpetuity for its wit and brilliance. I know I will.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/06/magazine/06letters-t-002.html?_r=1&ref=magazine&oref=slogin

I’m thinking about having this put on my tombstone:

Marie L. Cooper
Beloved Mother
AND (continued on back)
The writer of a Letter to the Editor
of the New York Times Magazine.

7 comments:

Jessica said...

As always, you're making me laugh.
Hey, you should publish your own book :)Honestly, they should let your personality shine through the letter. If it's an editorial article I would understand why they need to edit it.

Marie said...

Jessica, you are the sweetest thing! I wish you weren't so far away so I could give you a hug. You are SO good for my ego.

Thanks for your kind words.

Patti said...

Hey Marie - sorry I'm just now getting around to catching up with you. My office moved, I was offline forever, my mom fell - it's been pure chaos.

Anyway - woman, you've still got it!!

I miss you so much. I am so glad to hear perhaps you are finally on the mend though, because holy hannah have you been through hell.

Barb said...

I had the same thing happen with a letter in Real Simple. Edited until the charm was all gone. Hate that. But the fact that I'm right there with a photo and everything? Kind makes up for it.

--Barb

My word verification, should I get it right, is: usyrpcnz

I'm thinking you don't want to have to type THAT before coffee.

Marie said...

Wow, Barb, you got a photo?! You are way ahead of me. In order for people to know about my letter I had to wear a sandwich sign, oops, ummm, I mean I would have had to wear a sandwich sign. lol

And you are way better off in a genuine magazine. At least no one uses Real Simple to line their bird cage or train their puppy.

All kidding aside, it is fun, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

And don't forget "Blogger Extraordinaire!" on the tombstone.

Hank

Marie said...

Hank, my dear friend, you are so sweet. :)