What a ride it has been!!
I started Nourish with the idea of creating a support group for losing weight.
Instead, I have gained an additional 50 pounds. Maybe I should have started a support group to gain weight.
I was soooo earnest and serious when I started out. My son was getting married in a few months and I was going to the gym almost every day. I was swimming, blissfully. I could backstroke in laps for an hour without pause, gliding through the water, meditating and praying as I went. It felt so good.
Then came…The Fall.
Breaking my shoulder has been a life altering event in so many ways. But I have to say one good thing about it was how that experience changed the direction of my blog.
Writing about it was cathartic, but more than that it began to engage me with my readers in a whole new way. I became more personal, more irreverent and, I believe, more fun. I met people through my writing who related, who sympathized or who simply enjoyed my wacky stories. Some of these people have become dear friends. Meeting people with every new post has been a delight. It is such a thrill to hear from people and know you have touched them in some way.
The writing itself has been pure joy. Sure there are times I am dry as a bone, don’t have an original thought in my head, never mind an amusing one, and I feel like an utter failure. Struggling with depression, the Celtic Curse, can take away language for weeks. But when I can get started on something and it keeps going, and it gets funnier, or more poignant, and I know it is working, that my words will move someone, nothing in the world is better.
I have written my whole life, knew that was what I was supposed to do, that was my skill and my calling, but I made excuse after excuse not to pursue it. It’s not practical. I could never make a living. I’m not good enough. I am too busy raising my family and then, supporting my family. I believe I put all these obstacles in my way because deep down I felt I did not deserve to be what I was born to be.
Two years ago I wrote:
We are all struggling with issues of health or weight or self-image. This is the place to share successes and defeats, struggles and triumphs, even little ones. Share ideas, tips, be cheerleaders for each other.
That is exactly what has occurred here. Although I originally had a different objective, the friendships, the insights, the love I have received from writing this blog have ultimately been so true to the title. My heart and spirit have been nourished by you all.