Saturday, February 28, 2009

Out of Control

So, I knew I was out of control when I found myself making Kraft Macaroni and Cheese one night for dinner. I have not had Kraft Macaroni and Cheese for a meal since I was about five years old. I do believe that is also the last time I thought it tasted good. I was at someone else’s house at the time. I was thrilled to be eating something that was both advertised on TV and as orange as a neon sign.

I don’t remember who it was that made it for me, but I do remember my mother was appalled when she found out. My mother is an excellent cook and, additionally, loves to prepare and truly appreciates good food. Macaroni and cheese out of a box was an anathema to her. She refused to buy it and I never tasted it again until college. At which time I nearly choked on the grossness of it.

Even my children didn’t like Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.

But one recent day in the supermarket it almost literally called out my name. I tossed it in my cart with all the other food that was really, really bad for me. And I went home and made it.

Nothing could be easier than preparing this…um…food product. First you boil the cute little noodles. Then it calls for four tablespoons of margarine. HA! Pussies! I used butter. FIVE tablespoons. You mix in the packet o’ orange chemicals. They call it “Cheese Sauce”, but I am pretty certain they are not fooling anyone. Finally, in goes a splash of milk, I think primarily to give you the illusion that you are about to consume something wholesome.

At that point I didn’t so much eat it as let it slither down my throat. It was filling, I will give you that. And you know what is awesome on top of it? No, not ice cream silly! (Note to self: consider ice cream over mac and cheese.) Ketchup!!! My favorite condiment that I slather over anything I can because I wasn’t allowed to when I was young. Now that’s maturity!

One serving of this culinary delight comes in at a horrifying 410 calories. Not counting the ketchup. And the extra calories from butter instead of margarine. And the extra butter. And the second serving.

*SIGH*

This past year was not a total wash however. I did lose two pounds. Two pounds in one year.

At this rate, I am going to be one smokin’ ninety year old!!

21 comments:

Jennifer said...

You know, with posts like these, we are bound to be best friends...

Webster said...

OMG, not the dreaded Kr@ft Macaroni and Cheese! You've taken a step on a slippery slope. I hope you regain your footing... and soon!

Marie said...

Jennifer: What a sweet thing to say. :) And oh no, not you too you poor thing! Just back away from the refrigerator and everything will be alright. lol

Webster: Yeppers, KM&C. I am sliding down a slippery slope of orange...what the hell is that shit anyway?!?!?

I think I need an intervention. :(

Mountain Woman said...

Yum, you ate one of my favorite comfort foods! I haven't had it in so long either.
I think I'd pick the ice cream over the ketchup :)

Marie said...

If you haven't had it in a long time, you might find yourself reassessing your comfort food list. lol

I love the first sentence of your 'About Me': "Dreams do come true." I am so happy for you! In the past few years my dreams have kind of gone kerflumpt. But maybe I need new dreams? Because I used to believe that too. :)

The Mother said...

Better late than never. Ninety-one is the new fifty.

Marie said...

lol Now that's positive thinking!

Dan Brantley said...

I recently started using a tactic my mother taught me. Everytime I feel liek eating anything I drink a glass of water instead. So far the multiple trips to the bathroom each day have added a lot of exercise to my routine too. So far, I still weigh the same, but the sloshing sound when I walk, is starting to bother my wife.

Marie said...

Ha Ha!! Cool, Dan! Not gain weight AND irritate your spouse at the same time!?! Excellent tip!

*boom!* said...

Ha, Marie, you are hilarious dear. We don't like the Kraft at our house it has to be the store brand, Spartan to be exact, preferably spiral noodles. If you want to try some, I can send it to you!

HappySkinnyGirl said...

Mmm yummy...not! :) Anyway, you should be more kind to yourself. You're taking care your body, even if it was Macaroni and Cheese.

christine Schilke said...

I gotta tell ya, I LOVE kraft Mac & cheese and try not to buy it because I will eat the whole box!!!

Marie said...

And what do you think I did?!?! lol

I consider myself a model of restraint just by virtue of the fact that I took the time to cook it and didn't eat it raw.

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