Monday, February 23, 2009

Stop Me Before I Eat Again!!!

When I started this blog, I was sooooo earnest. So serious. So certain that I would rapidly return to my previous normal weight.


Partly because I broke my shoulder, partly because I was immobilized for three months, partly because I did a course of steroids, partly because I just couldn’t get my act together, that never happened.

When the New Year rolled around, I figured, aha, new beginning. And it was. I began to eat everything in sight.

I have only slowed down because I HAVE CONSUMED ALL THE FOOD IN NORTH AMERICA!!!!

You think I’m kidding? Go look in your refrigerator. Go ahead. Go. Look. All you’ll find is a wilted celery stick and a jar of pickle juice. I ate everything else.

So this is where I should be falling back on old platitudes about how tomorrow is another day, I just have to give it another try, I know I can do it, blabbity blah blah blah.

I am not going for any of that right now. I just wanted to whine.


papercages said...

OMG Marie, I laughed so hard. Especially when I got to the part about wilted celery and pickle juice because that is exactly what is in my refrigerator. Oh, and a pitcher of iced tea-- you missed that. ;)

Marie said...

Probably sugarless ice tea, am I right? Well if you read my post of 6/27/08 ( you will remember I had an ice tea trauma.

And I'll bet you are thin as a rail aren't you Tricia?

Well, you are going to have to stop counting on me to eat all your food for you!!! You will just have to do it yourself, my girl. I could use a couple of fat friends. I am tired of being the only one.


HappySkinnyGirl said...

Feel good to whine, isn't it? I did it too :)

Vic said...

I don't see how you could possibly eaten all the food when I have already hoovered up most of it!

Until I get myself some self-control, I'll be your fat friend. :)

Marie said...

Happy Girl: It does feel good to whine, doesn't it? ( I love your new blog format by the way. You do such a nice job!)

Vic: You mean I missed some?!?!

I would love for you to be my fat friend except I couldn't help noticing YOU ARE NOT FAT!!

Nice try girlfriend.

Sherry said...

I didn't know that I was into ethnic foods, edibles from far away places -- but I must be, because if you've eaten all of the food in North America, I've gotten too much from somewhere!

Da Old Man said...

Count me in as a fat friend.
You missed my emergency Twinkie supply

Marie said...

Well Sherry it seems as though everyone is trying to take credit for sucking up all that food, but I am positive it was me.


Marie said...

Ooops, almost I missed you, too Joe!

Well, the more pudgy friends the merrier. Although I have to admit, I gave the Twinkies a miss on purpose. Not a fan, even though they are edible, which has been my only criteria of late.

Jennifer said...

If it helps any, I drank the pickle juice. We are living parallel lives! LOL

weeble99 said...

Ahh, the battle of the bulge. I know it too well. I'm home alone for the weekend. Tonight's dinner is corn chips, salsa, guacamole, oak smoked cheddar, and DIET coke! lol

Marie said...

Jennifer: I left the pickle juice specifically for you. I didn't want to make you feel bad. lol

Weebs: Well, of course diet Coke. You wouldn't want to gain weight!!! Sheesh!

*boom!* said...

Any luck finding self-control yet? If/when you find it please let me know. Thusfar I have looked under the couch, at the post office and in my crisper drawer. Since there was no pizza there, I stopped looking.

Maybe you can save me from myself and then I can save you from yourself.