Saturday, August 2, 2008

Has This Ever Happened to You?

(I have a few posts that I wrote in February and March but never posted because of my accident. So I am going to post them over the next week or so, just so they don’t go to waste. :) )

Has this ever happened to you?

You go into New York for a job interview wearing a good pants suit.

The interview process takes hours. The only good thing about the day is you get to have a cup of tea with your dear friend Michael who works a few buildings away from your interview.

On the ferry home, you put your sunglasses on and you put your BRAND NEW glasses into your pants pocket because they don’t fit into your teeny little, yet very fashionable, purse.

You get home exhausted, cold and having to pee so bad you’re unbuttoning your pants as you walk through the door and you let them literally just drop off to the floor before you even get into the bathroom.

You quickly jump into your sweats, then hang up your jacket and pants.

You just as quickly crawl under your comforter and sleep for two hours.

You wake up at seven and realize you have to go pick up a prescription.

It is dark, so you start looking for your BRAND NEW glasses.

You search all over. No glasses.

A light bulb goes on and you go to your pants suit pocket.

You remove your mangled glasses.

You remember when the pants dropped off, you had to step on them to extricate your feet, apparently stepping on your you-know-what- kind of glasses.

You say “Ohhhhhhh nnnnnnooo” like Ralphie in A Christmas Story.

You gamely get out your little glasses repair kit and attempt to bend and screw them back together.

Your MS-numb hand slips with the little mini-screw driver and you gouge one of the lenses.

You get them back together, but they certainly no longer look BRAND NEW.

Has this ever happened to you?

I thought so. I figured it could only happen to me.


Jane Turley said...

Well not exactly but...

1) I have had the toilet experience more times than I care to remember. And I like to point out Marie that if you made to the loo without peeing your pants be glad - you have a better bladder than me!

2) I have sat on more pairs of sunglasses than is humanly possible. Note to self; reduce the size of your arse Mrs T and you will inflict less damage.

3) Never buy trendy bendable glasses - The children will try to fashion them into a pair of tweezers to dissect small insects.

4) Always buy rigid, old fashioned cheap plastic glasses that will survive tornados,earthquakes and small irritating children. You will look dull and boring but they will last for years.

Never mind Marie; console yourself that you will son be able to replace the glasses. (Also, never, ever be tempted to use tiny clutch bags whatever the circumstances - there is no room for glasses and more importantly - spare knickers.)

Anonymous said...

At least you don't end up at the hospital. You almost scare me with the screw driver , even though it's a mini :)

Salted Fibres said...

Youchers, that's a harsh happening :)

Marie said...

Well, I have to say this working business puts a huge crimp in your personal life! lol

I haven't been on my own blog in days, never mind anyone else's!!

Jane, your suggestions are the best!! I will definitely consult with you next time I need glasses.

And spare knickers are ALWAYS a good idea.

Jessica, do mean to tell me that just because in the past few months I have been unemployed, got shingles, broke my shoulder, had surgery on my shoulder, scalded myself and had surgery on my eye (am I forgeting anything?) that you were expecting the worst?!?!

Jessica, Jessica, you are such a "the glass is half empty" person!!! lol lol

Thank for your comments all! I am so glad you visit. :)

DK said...

No, no, that has definitely not happened to me.

But then again, I'm guessing you've never come home smelling like placenta.

Marie said...

Au contraire, my dear Kate, I have indeed come home smelling like placenta. I was a childbirth educator for many years and did labor support for my students. Blood, vomit, pee, poop, placenta, you name it, I've gotten on me. lol

No brains though. I have never gotten brains on me. So I count myself lucky. :)