How the Mighty Have Fallen

This time last year I was a department head at a company in New York City and I was making six figures. I thought I was hot stuff.

This year I am working as a temp after 10 months of being out of work. I definitely no longer consider myself hot stuff.

I am so, so grateful to be back at work. But my ego has taken a major bruising.

As the boss, I had my own office. I came and went pretty much as pleased, although I did, for the most part, work 10 to 12 hour days and had a three hour round trip commute.

Now, I work on a computer at a conference table in someone else’s office. I will be moved when this person comes back from vacation. I don’t even have a phone. And literally every minute of my day has to be accounted for. The work that I am doing is billable back to another organization. So I keep a spreadsheet of how long I spend working on each patient’s record that I review and then make notes on. We have to hand our numbers in at the end of each day. If your minutes are low, you don’t last long. One girl in the office stopped drinking water during the day so she wouldn’t have to go to the bathroom too often and cut back on her minutes. There is dead silence all day long. No chit chat or socializing. Just the constant sound of urgency.

The woman who ‘trained’ me spent five minutes explaining what to do. She appeared amazed that I got it the first time. She was so condescending I had to bite my tongue practically in half to keep from making a sarcastic remark.

So what I am trying to remember is that, despite the pressure, I am much better off than I was when I had to deal with:

• Moronic CEO’s who made bad decisions and then blamed them on someone else. Like me. :(
• Bullying CEO's who made bad decisions and then blamed them on someone else. Like me. :(
• Worrying about the budget.
• Scheduling staff.
• Staff that didn't do their job.
• Staff who called out.
• Staff who said the building was toxic and making them sick.
• Staff who were toxic and made ME sick.
• Staff who had fictitious ailments.
• Staff who had real ailments.
• Staff who were insane.
• Staff who threatened to kill me (yup, it really happened; more than once)
• Patients who were cranky.
• Patients who were insane.
• Everyone’s problems.

For the first time in ten years, I am not in management. It feels strange and makes me a little sad to see those closed doors and not be a part of what is going on inside. However, for now I will be a simple worker bee and thank my lucky stars.

And just like that....

...it's over. Well for now. Right after I post my saddest, most brutally depressing post ever. How ironic.

It has happened so fast, I have not even gotten used to the idea yet.

I’ve been offered a temporary, three month position doing work for a large physician practice management organization (that is what my background is). They wanted me to start immediately. And so I will. :)

It has been so long and so hard, I am having a hard time getting excited or even feeling happy. I am relieved. It is a reprieve. If they like me, the assignment could be extended.

Oh my goodness. I feel as though I can breathe again. Although it is going to take so much work to clean up the mess this debacle has left behind. But I can only take on one thing at a time.

Thank you everyone for your good wishes and prayers and encouragement. Thank you to my family and my parish family and my friends, especially Christine and Cathy, who stuck by me and endlessly offered support and love and hope.

I have so much to be grateful for.

I’M WORKING AGAIN!!!!!!!!