Goodbye Nora. Thanks for Everything.

I loved Nora Ephron’s work.  She had such a gift for finding universal humor in mundane encounters.  Her sense of romanticism was so seductive, if unrealistic.  We bought it because we wanted to.  She ripped our hearts out when she discovered her husband’s infidelity.  She raised our hopes that someday we would meet our own Harry and have what she was having.

I was so sad when her death at the age of 71 was announced this week.  But the accolades from her friends were so touching, so warm that it was almost a pleasure to read her obituary.  Now I know it was pretty unlikely that someone was going to say to The Times “She was a total cow and I couldn’t stand her.”  But still, if I receive even a fraction of that kind of praise when I go, I will be a happy corpse.

In her book “I Remember Nothing”, she wrote lists of things she would miss and things she wouldn’t.  I think one of life’s important lessons when we lose someone is being reminded how little time we really do have and how precious this world is.  So I have written my own two lists.

Thanks, Nora.

What I Won’t Miss

Multiple sclerosis

Doctor’s visits of any kind

Always being unhappy about my looks

Fat

Rampant social injustice

Bullies

Those horrible big buzzing beetles that somehow get past your screens on summer nights

Actually, all bugs.  Screw the ecosystem.

Sweating

People with no sense of humor

Knowing there is an audience for programs such as “Housewives of ….[fill in the blank]

Customer service reps who clearly hate people and don’t give a rat’s ass about your problem

Mean spirited, ugly comments after newspaper articles online

Chris Christie

Glen Beck

Job interviews

Heat waves

Weddings

What I Will Miss

My children and grandchildren

My sweet little dog

Writing and the sheer joy of words

My spectacular, funny, giving, loving friends

My cousin Steve, the embodiment of kindness to me my entire life

Laughter

The sound of the ocean

Books

Fabric and the potential in every yard

Yarn

Macaroni and cheese

Marzipan

London

Lemons piled in a blue bowl

Bruce Springsteen

Conan O’Brian

Dick Cavett

Lily of the Valley

Pencils

Haydn

The New York City skyline

Getting a package unexpectedly

A fresh pedicure with bright red polish

A soft, pastel linen shirt on a hot summer evening

Cuddling under a quilt I made myself, made in colors that simply make me happy

The antique pearls my mother gave me

Rain

What would your lists be?

 

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