Well, today’s photo is a little bit different, although it won’t change again. The picture before was a stock photo of books on a windowsill. I decided if it is going to be my brand, I had better use my own books on my own windowsill. And that is what I have done.
So this is my summer theme for now, a hot blue and yellow sky. It is very hot here at the Shore this week, which is good for the merchants and the tourists and bad for most people with MS. Heat affects nerve conductivity and our limbs turn into floppy noodles . My brain turns into noodles too when I am hot, I have trouble thinking straight and have zero strength or energy. I used to spend hours on the beach every day when my kids were little. Here the beach is a way of life. Not any more for me though. Sitting on the boardwalk for a little while after the sun has gone down is more my speed now.
I would have stayed sequestered in my air conditioned room today except I had a futile follow up with Dr. Wonderful about my continuous shoulder pain and virtually useless right arm. At least he attempts to offer me ideas and solutions. And empathy. The three pain management physicians I have seen have treated me like a hot potato.
He didn’t disappoint me. He spent a long time evaluating my range of motion and talking to me about maintaining the strength in my arm and what his theories are on why I still have so much pain. He asked what I am doing to manage the pain. I told him since I am pretty well out of medicine, mostly breathing and relaxation exercises. “Well, keep that up” he said with a straight face. I guess the days of wine and narcotics are over. :( Such a great guy, though. A truly good person and generous doctor. I’m not quite discharged as hopeless yet, but close. I’ll go back in six months.
Ah well. There were worse ways to spend a Tuesday afternoon. It was good for me to get dressed and made up instead of sitting here in a tattered Manhattan College t-shirt , crap pants and fork-in-the-toaster hair. Not working has caused my personal standards to, um, slip a little. To none. I had no idea how simple no standards were until I descended, but it is very freeing.
I really need to pull myself together, but for now I will relax and cut myself a break.
Happy first day of Summer everyone!
