It's Almost Over

I rarely watch television. The last time was the night of the election, to watch the returns. Before that, I can’t even remember, but I think it was when I was confined to the sun room with my broken shoulder, back in May.

But tonight I happened to see that the documentary A Year with the Queen was on. Embarrassingly enough, I love to watch or read anything about the Queen. I find her utterly fascinating.

She has lived through, and been at the center of, almost a century of history. Her every breath for that entire time has been scrutinized, criticized or analyzed. Yet, she appears to be a witty, gracious and stable person, where most of the rest of us would have been basket cases after a week, never mind more than 80 years.


Her stamina is amazing. Watching the documentary, I was green with envy as I observed her glide up and down stairs without turning a hair. I was captivated to witness her ease, even as people turned into blithering idiots in her presence. The program covered her trip to America in 2007, one that took place at a speed that wore me out just watching it.

Plus, at the age of 82, she is simply beautiful.

How could any of that not be fascinating?

But I digress. Because what stood out for me more than anything, as George Bush is interviewed and observed throughout the state visit, is how incredibly grateful I am that eight long years of international mortification are almost over.

I never snack at night, but listening to him babble made me crave a gallon of ice cream. With a bottle of vodka poured over it. Anything to make the pain go away.

Lest we ever forget, here are a few of the statements Mr. Bush has made during his presidency. They are a clear demonstration of the level of attention to detail, the gravitas and intelligence of our Commander-In-Chief:





"Never again in the halls of Washington, D.C., do I want to have to make explanations that I can't explain." Oct. 31, 2000, Portland, Oregon


"There's no doubt in my mind, not one doubt in my mind, that we will fail." Oct. 4, 2001, in Washington. Bush was remarking on a back-to-work plan after the terrorist attacks.


"There's an old saying in Tennessee …I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee… that says, fool me once, shame on…shame on you. Fool me…you can't get fooled again." Sept. 17, 2002, in Nashville, Tenn.


“Thank you, Your Holiness. Awesome speech." April 16, 2008, at a ceremony welcoming Pope Benedict XVI to the White House.


"Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." Sept. 6, 2004, at a rally in Poplar Bluff, Mo.

"Because he's hiding." Jan. 14, 2005, responding to a reporter who asked why Osama bin Laden had not been caught.

'Words' He Has Used:

misunderestimated

embetter

mential

resignate

subliminable

subsidation

transformationed


Oh. My. Freaking. God.

Alright, you might say, this from a woman who thought the New Year’s Eve ball was just thrown willy-nilly off a building?

Well, I’m not the President, am I?

It’s almost over. Praise the Lord.