Thursday, August 25, 2011

Message to My Children

Our family is going through a lot of changes these days. Especially with me being sick and with life being so unpredictable, I was inspired to write a list of lessons I have learned over the years that I would like to impart to them.

Dear Kids,

Things I have learned (often the hard way) and things I want you to know:

• Be kind to yourself. Not indulge yourself, but love yourself the way you deserve to be loved. Don’t be hard on yourself if you make a mistake, just learn from it. Find what you love as your life’s work. You deserve to be happy. Work hard at what you love, but take time to keep balance in your life.

• Be kind to others. Treat them the way you would like to be treated. Smile, hold a door, give someone a ride, let someone in in traffic, overlook it when someone is acting like a jerk. Don’t hold people to impossible standards that they can’t meet, appreciate their humanness. Give back. That kindness will come back to you, over and over. That is how you will be a good example for your own children.

• Don’t let little things bother you. It’s not worth the energy. And if it is a big thing, take a deep breath, walk away, cool off and go back to deal with it when you feel more calm. Things always work out one way or another. Don’t waste your time being angry unless it is over injustice or moral wrong. Anger takes a terrible toll on your soul.

• Be grateful for what you have. Don’t look at other people and think they maybe have it better than you. I guarantee they don’t. There is an old saying: “If you put your troubles in a pile with ten other people, you would take yours back.” You never know what kind of burden someone is carrying. Another good reason to be kind.

• Stay close to your siblings. Work at it. Time goes by so fast. You are the only family you have, cherish that. Enjoy each other. Ignore petty things. Remember what good people you are.

• Tell your children about your family, all the funny and fun stories you can remember. Focus on the good, but don’t ignore the bad. Learn from the bad that people are human and need to be forgiven.

• Have faith in a spiritual power. In hard times, that is where you will find strength and hope.

• Laugh. Look at the funny side of things. Keep a sense of humor.

• Remember that life is very short and you only get one go at it. So make sure if you are investing yourself and your emotions in something that it is worth your while.

• Know that you were always loved, from the minute you were known, before you were even born. You may not have gotten the perfection you deserved, but that overwhelming love was always there. It can give you solace when you need it most, so hold onto it. You will never be alone, that spirit of care and affection is always with you. Nothing can end it, not even death.

In a nutshell:

Love. Laugh. Whine (a little). Nourish yourself. Do these things, you will be happy and you will make the world a better place.

Lots of love,

My children, 1989  Fireman's Park, Ocean Grove, NJ

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Jane Turley said...

You are a wise woman indeed, Marie:)

I hope your kids listen. If not, get out the baseball bat. Works a treat with mine:)

Jane Turley said...

Hmm... sorry, I always making flippant remarks. Bad habit:)) Can I just say your post was very touching and so very right. Your children are extremely lucky to have such a wonderful and thoughtful mother:)

Herrad said...

hi marie,
beautiful post, it got me crying, not good with glasses.

Marie said...

Herrad - Hi!! It is so good to see you!! Thank you for your lovely words. Met liefde, Marie :)

Jane - Life would be a poorer thing indeed without your flippant remarks!! {{hugs}}

I have never tried an actual baseball bat. But I did chase the boys through the house with a piece of my living room coffee table once. They were wrestling (ages approx 6 & 7)on the sofa and rolled off onto the wooden coffee table, snapping it in pieces. I was threatening to beat them to death with it, but they outran me.

I am much more mellow now. Now I would just try to beat myself to death with it, because I have surrendered and would try to put myself out of my own misery. Fortunately, sofa wrestling is pretty rare these days.

Jane Turley said...

No surrendering now Marie:)Absolutely not. That's not your style and you know it!

Hmm.. breaking a coffee table is very naughty indeed. I'm not surprised you chased after them - only that it wasn't with you in a pick-up truck with them legging it up the highway!

Age does bring mellowness. Is that a word btw?! I dunno - it's after 1am here, I'm allowed to be thick:) There is some stuff that doesn't screw me clutching at straws here..) Oh I don't know! But I'm sure there's something. In the meantime, I do seem to have lots to complain about; education, taxes, employment etc etc. (I think I probably actually need to see a counsellor:) What d'you think?)

You take care now and remember I am only an email/phone call away!X

brokenteepee said...

That sense of humor will carry one through more than anything....

Hugs my friend

Margaret said...