The Way We Are

My sister and I are very close, even though we are 13 years apart in age (I’m the old one). We totally get each other, understand things before they even have to be spoken. We’ve been through the same family boot camp, just different graduating classes. We know better than anyone we have…issues. Not with each other, but with the world in general. We see peril everywhere and we are both incredibly  sort of  a little neurotic. Or, as we like to put it, we are functional lunatics. That is probably what we are going to call our book. “Life, as Lived by Two Functional Lunatics” Or, “The Idiot’s Guide to Functional Lunacy”. The title possibilities, which usually render us screaming with laughter, are endless. But then, we are easily amused.

Distressingly, my sister had an awful fall this morning, slipping on her steps, landing on her backside and thumping down the rest of the eight or so stairs, scraping one arm in the process and wrenching the other one, which got caught in the spindles of the railing. She is in terrible pain, but nothing seems to be broken and all she can do at this point is rest and take pain medication.

Our father coincidentally called her right after she fell. He subsequently called our mother and told her. Our mother then immediately called her eleven hours later to see how she was.

Kay: Oh, you poor thing. I am so sorry this happened to you. This is horrible. This is terrible. Oh my God. How are you feeling? (this is her standard There’s Been a Catastrophe Even if it is Only in My Own Mind speech; see my bout with shingles).
Cathy: I’m ok, just very achy.
Kay: What did you hurt?
Cathy: I hurt my arms and I fell on my tailbone.
Kay: Oh, that is terrible. They will probably have to wire it shut.

Now, Cathy reports, there is dead silence, as she contemplates this last statement. Wire my backside shut?!? They do that?!? Why would they do that?!? Because I talk out my ass?!? (made herself laugh there, heh heh) I never heard of wiring someone’s…then the light bulb went on.

Cathy: MA! I said my TAILBONE, not my JAWBONE.
Kay: Oh.

Say no more.

 It is good to have a sister.

"Insanity runs in our family.  It practically gallops."

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