Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Way We Are

My sister and I are very close, even though we are 13 years apart in age (I’m the old one). We totally get each other, understand things before they even have to be spoken. We’ve been through the same family boot camp, just different graduating classes. We know better than anyone we have…issues. Not with each other, but with the world in general. We see peril everywhere and we are both incredibly  sort of  a little neurotic. Or, as we like to put it, we are functional lunatics. That is probably what we are going to call our book. “Life, as Lived by Two Functional Lunatics” Or, “The Idiot’s Guide to Functional Lunacy”. The title possibilities, which usually render us screaming with laughter, are endless. But then, we are easily amused.

Distressingly, my sister had an awful fall this morning, slipping on her steps, landing on her backside and thumping down the rest of the eight or so stairs, scraping one arm in the process and wrenching the other one, which got caught in the spindles of the railing. She is in terrible pain, but nothing seems to be broken and all she can do at this point is rest and take pain medication.

Our father coincidentally called her right after she fell. He subsequently called our mother and told her. Our mother then immediately called her eleven hours later to see how she was.

Kay: Oh, you poor thing. I am so sorry this happened to you. This is horrible. This is terrible. Oh my God. How are you feeling? (this is her standard There’s Been a Catastrophe Even if it is Only in My Own Mind speech; see my bout with shingles).
Cathy: I’m ok, just very achy.
Kay: What did you hurt?
Cathy: I hurt my arms and I fell on my tailbone.
Kay: Oh, that is terrible. They will probably have to wire it shut.

Now, Cathy reports, there is dead silence, as she contemplates this last statement. Wire my backside shut?!? They do that?!? Why would they do that?!? Because I talk out my ass?!? (made herself laugh there, heh heh) I never heard of wiring someone’s…then the light bulb went on.

Cathy: MA! I said my TAILBONE, not my JAWBONE.
Kay: Oh.

Say no more.

 It is good to have a sister.
"Insanity runs in our family.  It practically gallops."
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12 comments:

Pricilla said...

I was trying to envision that too...thought your mother had gone loony too.

Webster said...

"Functional Lunacy for Dummies" is another possibility- dedicate it to your Mother, with love.

Marie said...

Pricilla: So much of what my mother says gives one pause. lol

Webster: An excellent suggestion! lol Maybe I should start a spread sheet of possibilities. It is going to be hard to choose. lol

Thanks for stopping by, both of you, and for your comments. It is always good to see and hear from you!

Margaret said...

Ouch! Tell Cathy I am thiinking of her and hope she heals up soon.

Anji said...

I hope that your sister is making a good recovery and that nothing had to be wired shut. Reminds me of a telephone conversation I had with my aunt - whom I thought was my mother, she thought that she was talking to my sister...

Is that picture from Arsenic and Old Lace?

I visit your blog when I’m on ExposeYourBlog!

Marie said...

Oh Anji, how funny about you and your aunt!! I love it! lol

My poor sister is still in a lot of pain, but had x-rays last week that did confirm no breaks. She will just need a lot of rest. So hard for so many of us!!

That picture is from Arsenic and Old Lace, one of my all time favorites. I was looking for a picture of two wacky old ladies and figured they fit the bill! lol That quote about insanity is from the movie too.

To everyone: My sister Cathy is so grateful for all your concern and good wishes and she asked me to thank you all. :)

TamDe said...

HIII!! I just found your blog and I'm so glad I did! I'm a laugh or go crazy kind of gal too!

Shorespinner said...

That was typical Kay - except you forgot the part where she started talking about how awful the accident was for HER!

I hope Cathy heals soon, and well. Thank Heavens nothing has to be wired - imagine having those wires removed - Ha!

Marie said...

Tam: Welcome! Thanks so much for leaving a comment. I am looking forward to reading more of your blog as well. :)

Spinner: Oh. My. God. You have no idea what is going on up here. Despicable even for her.

First of all, what you say too funny and too true. It is all about her. You always did have her number.

She is now living in Delaware. She has moved into my aunt's townhouse, into her master suite, while my aunt has moved into her own basement. My father is all alone here in a nursing home. It is so, so sad. She has said point blank she wants nothing to do with him. Nice, huh?

Your mention of having those wires removed inspires me to tell Cathy to count her blessings. lol

Hope all is well with you and Mr. Spinner. xoxo

Shorespinner said...

Of course she did. Why am I not surprised. Your father is probably better off without the drama. Mr. Shorespinner is fine, recovering from the kidney disease and tapering off the meds. It's been a rough few years lately.

FishHawk said...

"Nourish" has been included in the seventh edition of this years Thinking of Christmas Gifts in July. I hope this helps to attract many more new customers.

http://asthecrackerheadcrumbles.blogspot.com/2011/07/thinking-of-christmas-gifts-in-july_22.html

Marie said...

Fish Hawk, how on earth did I miss your comment?!?! Thank you so much for your flattering inclusion.

I am so grateful for your readership. {hugs}