Tuesday, May 27, 2008

We interrupt this life’s disastrous run for a brief announcement…

I have been tagged for a Blog Game. Share a phrase that you would live by in six words or less. I am so excited! I’ve never been tagged before!! Games are fun!

I sit down to write something sarcastic and witty. You know, my usual hilarious chronicle of my usual hilarious misadventures and foibles. Only shorter. Something snarky and negative, because that is how I have been feeling lately. Something like “Have low expectations and you will never be disappointed”. Ooops, more than 6 words. Ok, “No expectations, no disappointment”. Ha ha ha.

Because I am a horrible copycat, not to mention a coward who doesn’t want to be too far off the mark, I sneak a peek at Jessica’s (http://www.allabouthabits.com/), the blogger who tagged me, and then at Cynthia’s, the blogger who tagged her. I read their earnest, lovely, encouraging words. And I feel ashamed.

For the most part, life has not been fun for me over the past year. Over many years, truth be told. I lost an eye when I was a little girl and it was very hard growing up with that disfigurement. Although I have four spectacular children, my marriage was a difficult one. And then he died, leaving those four children devastated beyond words. And me to clean up the mess.

Things got better. I grew in my career and in security and in self-assurance. I bought my own house. I was proud of myself and I was happy.

In 2005, I found out I had Multiple Sclerosis. To say I did not take it very well would be a vast understatement. I was utterly shell shocked. A year and a half later, I lost my job. Another blow. I found another job within two months, better than the one before. Six months later, I was laid off from that job.

That was eight months ago. I still have not found a job. The mortgage company is breathing down my neck. My MS has gotten worse. My children, who I adore, have separately expressed to me I have left much to be desired as a parent, which has shattered me. And then…I fell. A fall that did incredible damage, to my body and to my spirit and to my faith. Because I could not figure out how on earth so many bad things could keep happening to one ordinary, relatively harmless person. The physical and emotional pain have been relentless. And my downward spiral has been building speed.

Then sweet Jessica’s tag shows up in my e-mail. Jessica's five words encourage us to take action: “Action brings happiness and success.” She, wise beyond her years, points out that a crucial action to take is deciding to have a good day. How simple. How beautiful. I picture this lovely young girl, perhaps cycling in the Swedish sunshine, unknowingly lifting my spirits from thousands of miles away. And it makes me smile.

Cynthia says “The time is always NOW!”. From Christine, “You are fearfully and wonderfully made.” AsktheDietician, “Stick to your guns”. “I am woman, hear me roar” from LisaN. Uh-oh, sound of screeching brakes interrupts the violins! I listened to waaaaaaay too much Helen Reddy when I was in college, so this is not my favorite quote. But I give Lisa the benefit of the doubt and read her post. And I discover something to love there, too.

Each of these women have struggled or are struggling with things, some which they have shared and some which remain known only to them. But each one gave me a gift today in words of cheer and hope and determination. They speak of connections and motherhood and being real and being beautiful and being happy.

I will speak of being gifted – gifted by love and serendipity and grace.

This is a very, very hard time in my life. My heart and confidence and health are waning. However, today someone I trust and deeply love gave me the gift of her time and her compassion. She is holding hope for me while I cannot, reminding me I am loved and helping me to be ok. I think she would say this is an easy thing for her to do, a small thing, although it is huge for me. So here are my six words (or less): Be thankful for small blessings.

Life happens in tiny increments. Those small, quiet moments of blessing, while perhaps fewer in number, can far outweigh those other moments of struggle and despair and questioning. It can take work to recognize them, accept them or appreciate them, but they are here for us.

I received several today and for that, I am grateful.

Game Rules:
Write your own six word or less memoir or words to live by…
post it on your blog….
Link to the person who tagged you..
Tag 5 or more bloggers…
Leave a comment on the tagged bloggers site with an invitation to play….
If you would like to read the postings that I found so sweet and inspiring:


Anonymous said...

You're so witty and sweet. Always love reading your post! :) Oh Marie, you've been through so much, it's great that you're open and sharing your strength with us.Your 5 word memoir is great, love it!

Just remove "http.se//" from this link in your post http://www.http//allabouthabits.com and it'll come to the right url.

I don't know if you've find away to let them know yet. Just copy the text down below and leave it as comments on their latest post.Then you're finished!

You’ve been tagged for the “6 word or less memoir” blog game!

Anonymous said...

Marie, sweetie, I can't say anything in six words or less.

What I CAN say is that I adore you. I am so very sorry that you have had such a rough run of luck. I think about you nearly every day and just keep hoping that things will get better for you.

Children can be so difficult. Or so I'm told. ;) So can parents. So can LIFE. Very few of us get to pass through living the dream - it's one friggin thing after another.

You have a lot of friends who care about you. I care about you. And I wish I didn't live so far away, so that we could get together more often to hang out and commiserate about how much life sucks sometimes.

Hang in there sweetie!!

Anonymous said...

You've had a tough time, Marie.

I don't know how to make it better for you, but remember, the tough things we go through make us stronger people. The injuries, whether physical or emotional, give us challenges to rise to.

Remember your memoir... it's a GOOD one! One of the things that keeps me going when I feel down is remembering all that I can be thankful for. It's hard to feel down when you are feeling thankful for the blessings you have.

Anonymous said...

If you ever want to talk, I have ears. And btw, I'm sure it wasn't intentional, but you brought me to tears. Wishing you all the best.

Marie said...

Oh, Patti, I miss you so much!!! I am trying not to beg you to come back, but its hard. Especially now, when I am in such a bad place. But thank you for the comforting words. You have no idea how much they mean to me.

Cynthia and Diana, it is so nice to meet you! I wasn't familiar with your blogs before, but you have a new follower! :)

Thank you all for the kind words and good wishes. For the small blessings. :)

Anonymous said...

I came here yesterday and read your blog, and thought I had left a comment, but this morning, something brought be back. And now, that I look, I didn't. I'm sorry.

Your post was so sweet. You've been through so much; thank for sharing. You reminded me of something I often forget, "being thankful for the small things."

Life is indeed a struggle, with so many ups and downs, but we can't allow ourselves to get so caught up in the downs, that we forget the ups.

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Marie- I love the New Look of the blog! Very attractive!


Marie said...

Thanks Rani! I wasn't sure if I liked it, but I think it is nice for a change.

I saw a lady in the supermarket yesterday wearing Salwar-Kurta. It was turquoise and she looked so pretty. I wanted to tell her how nice she looked and show off that I knew what she was wearing was called (it is unusual here to see it), but I figured she'd think I was a nut! lol